Sometimes I catch myself trying to remember the way to the old neighborhood store to buy candy or a popsicle.  First off, the street was paved, but not really.  It was really just patches on top of patches surrounded by hot Texas summer dirt.
By July, the bottoms of my feet had toughed up so the hot asphalt didn’t bother me.  I turned right, which was generally north—all of the streets made a lot of slight turns so nothing was due north, south, east or west.  Our next door neighbor was a nice old man, Mr. McDaniel who always had some relative living with him.  Across the street was a young couple with two little kids who lived in a renovated Army barracks left over from World War II.  Eventually they moved out to a nicer house in a nicer neighborhood.  They didn’t talk to us much after that.  The wife’s mother lived next to them in a regular house.  I was kinda scared of her.  I don’t know why.
Next to Mr. McDaniels were two houses, and I don’t think I ever met anyone who lived there.  At the end of the block was a rambling old farm house with a wrap-around front porch and it needed a coat of paint.  The woman who lived there ran the washateria where we took our clothes after my mother died.
Down the intersecting dirt road were a bunch of ramshackle old houses.  My parents strictly forbade me to walk down that road because that’s where the black people.  Except they didn’t say black people.  They didn’t even use the word colored.  They said a word I won’t use here.  I know what it was.  You know what it was.  We all know what it was.  No need to repeat it here.
We could see the shacks on that road from our backdoor.  One morning I watched a black hearse parked out front of one of the houses.  A group of men in black suits carried a coffin down the stairs.  The people in the yard cried.  It struck me that if black people cried in sorrow the same way we did when someone died, why did we have to be afraid of them?  And if we weren’t afraid of them, why could I not walk down the street where they lived?
But I was trying to remember the way to the store, where the people on the dirt road could not shop.  Beyond the intersection was a big vacant spot with lots of trees.  Sometimes there was a tall pile of sand there, but I wasn’t allowed to play in it.
At the next intersection was another patched-over paved road leading to the bridge over Pecan Creek.  We went that way when we were going to church or visit my mother’s relatives.  If we kept going up the street my house was on, we got to the high school and downtown.  On the other side of that intersection was the store.  I hardly remember ever going in the older building.  It was like all the country stores you’ve ever seen pictures of.  I don’t know if it had a cracker barrel or not.
The owner became sick, and his wife panicked, marking up all the prices to pay for the doctor bills.  All that did was make the neighbors get in their cars and drive north into town to shop at the fancy new supermarkets.  They went out of business even faster.  Eventually, he died and the widow moved away.
Someone then bought the land, rented the old building to an upholsterer and build a long, wide building which had a laundromat (I don’t know why this one was called a laundromat and the other one in town was called a washateria).  On the other end of the building was a grocery with gas pumps outside.  We’d call it a convenience store today.
I remember the owner had a huge selection of plastic flowers for sale in the back.  It also had the best selection of candy and ice cream I’d ever seen.  Of course, I was just a little barefoot boy in a small Texas town so what did I know?
They also had a bunch of knickknacks which I bought from time to time as birthday and Christmas presents for my parents.  In particular I remember saving my nickels and dimes to buy a ceramic vase for my mother’s birthday.  She often commented on how cute she thought it was when she came in the store.  The surprise was ruined when my mother confronted me because the change in my pocket didn’t match what it should be since it was left over from my lunch allowance.  So I had to tell her I was holding back some to buy her a gift.  She felt bad, but she pulled the same thing when my brother put aside money from his part-time job to buy her a nice coat from a local woman’s clothing store.
I liked going to the store because there was always time to chat and tell jokes.  The ladies working there were like aunts, except they were nicer than my real aunts.  By the time I became a teen-ager, they had closed the store and moved to a new convenience store across the Pecan Creek bridge.  They didn’t treat me as nice then, but I suppose it’s easier to like little kids than teen-agers.
So, yes.  I do remember the way to the store.  All the old neighbors are gone.  All the stores are empty or torn down.  I don’t think I’d like to walk down that street now that I’m old.  I’d rather remember the days when I scampered barefoot without a care but with a coin to buy candy.  
Tag Archives: storytelling
Burly Chapter Twenty-Four
(Previously in the book:  For his birthday Herman received a home-made bear, which magically came to life. As Herman grew up, life was happy–but mama died one night.  Papa decided sister Callie should go live with relatives. Tad died during World War II.  The years have passed, and Herman is now seventeen years old, and Burly is in the trunk.)
“No!” Burly shouted as the trunk lid came down on him, covering him in darkness, but it did no good.  Herman didn’t open the lid and lift him out.  “Please, Herman, please,” the little bear whispered through the night, but Herman didn’t answer him.  Finally Burly sat back and began to think about it.  Herman will get a good night’s sleep and feel better the next morning, Burly decided.  Herman will take him into his arms and beg his forgiveness which, of course, he will give, Burly told himself.  So there was nothing left to do but be patient and wait for morning.  But when morning came, Herman got up, dressed and went to the kitchen to cook his father’s breakfast, ignoring Burly’s  pleas to be let out of the trunk.
“Do you need me after school?” Herman asked his father as they ate the ham, eggs and toast.
Not looking up, his father mumbled, “Could use some help in the barn.”
Herman climbed into the loft to get his books.  Burly saw this as his chance to talk him into letting him out.
“Please let me out.  I don’t like it in here.  It’s scary.”
But Herman acted as though he didn’t hear the little bear and left.  Burly began to wonder if Herman could even hear him anymore.  Maybe his magical powers went away.  Maybe none of his life ever happened.  Somewhere in the old rags that filled his head there was a special something that allowed him to pretend he had talked to Herman.  Burly was very confused.  He tried not to think much about what was happening until that night when Herman came home.
It was very late when Herman finally came to bed; after all, he had to help his father, and then cook, then do is homework.  Burly tried to be considerate and not say anything until Herman had slipped in between the covers.
“Herman,” he whispered, “Please let me out.”
There was no reply.
“Herman, I know I can still help you.  I just know I can.”
Again no reply.  Burly slowly began to believe Herman could no longer hear him until the little bear heard a muffled cry.
“Oh, shut up, Burly.  Leave me alone.”  And then Herman began to sob.
That made Burly very unhappy.  His only reason to be able to talk and think was to be Herman’s friend and to make him happy.  This was the first time Burly had made Herman cry.  “I’ll never do that again.  I’ll listen to what Herman is doing, and whisper advice in the middle of the night.  But, I’ll never upset him by asking to be let out again.”
And so the days and months passed with Burly listening in on Herman’s conversations with his friends.  And with himself, because for the first time in his life Herman talked to himself.  Mostly he said terrible things to himself, like calling himself a dummy because he only made a B in a certain class instead of an A.
“Don’t call yourself names like that,” Burly whispered late at night.  “You can’t be perfect in everything.  Don’t think bad of yourself or soon you will really believe it and you won’t even make Bs in school.”
Herman didn’t say anything, but Burly noticed Herman stopped calling himself names.  The next report card was better.  He got all As.
“Hey, genius,” Marvin said one day while visiting Herman in the loft.  “With grades like that you ought to go to college.”
“I plan to,” Herman replied with confidence.  “I want to be a lawyer.”
“It takes money to be a lawyer,” Marvin said.  “Where are you going to get money to go to law school?”
Herman shrugged.  “They have scholarships.  I’ll get me one of those.”
“Do you think you’re smart enough?” Marvin kidded.
“Yes,” Herman replied, completely serious.
“Yeah, I know you are,” Marvin said in a dark tone.  “But that doesn’t mean you’ll get the money.”
”Then I’ll work my way through, even if it takes extra years I’ll get through.”
“And what about the draft?”
“Well, there’s always the G.I. Bill.”
Marvin snickered.  “You’ve got all the answers.”
Herman looked at him with wide eyes.  “Yes, I do.”
That night Burly whispered, “I don’t want you to call yourself a dummy but don’t go too far the other way.  You don’t want to lose your friends.”
They’re Needling Me
I am the worst person in the world about getting shots.  My son is almost as bad as I am.  We’d make terrible heroin addicts.
	My wife and daughter are better.  Why is it women are braver patients than men?  Most women can give birth in the morning and plow the back forty in the afternoon.  One woman in Kevin Costner’s Robin Hood had a caesarean section by Saracen sword one day and stormed the castle the next.  Of course, that was a movie.
	My wife said she wasn’t good about getting shots when she was a child.  One time the doctor came by the house to give her an injection, and she jumped around the bed to avoid the needle.  He caught her mid-bounce in the buttocks.  After that she calmed down.  When my daughter got her first inoculation she looked at her arm and said, “Hmph, that hurt.”
	My son, on the other hand, shuddered with tears welling in his eyes, pleading with the doctor not to stick him.  And that was last week.  He’s thirty-eight years old and a prison guard.  Just kidding.  He shuddered when he was eight.  He takes it like a man now.  He shudders on the inside, just like me.
	Back in the 1950s, the schools gave polio shots regularly to elementary school students.  You had no warning.  There you were, sitting in the classroom just about ready to doze off, when the next thing you knew the teacher was herding you down the hall to your doom.  The needles back then were huge and dull.  I could swear that they had been using the same needles that they had used on soldiers in World War II, just to save money.
	Of course, getting an inoculation is nothing like having blood drawn.  From the time I first discovered the fact that doctors, on a regular basis, stuck dull needles in your veins to extract copious amount of blood, I lived in fear that one day I would have to undergo such torture.  When it eventually happened, I had to be placed on a gurney and my mother hovered over my face as the nurse drew the blood.  And I’ll never forget her kind words.
	“You’re being a big baby over this and embarrassing me to death.”
	Over the years I have not gotten much better.  At least my wife never told me I was a big baby nor acted like she was embarrassed when I almost passed out on the clinic floor.  By the way, women faint and men pass out; at least that’s what my brother told me.  He was a Marine so he should know.
	Doctors actually have a name for the condition, and it is not cowardice.  It’s Latin so I can’t remember it.  When your nervous system thinks it’s losing volumes of its life-giving fluid, your blood pressure drops dramatically so the blood won’t flow out so fast.  Not surprisingly, mostly men have it.
	A few years at the hospital a male nurse couldn’t find the vein.  In another aside, I think women draw blood better than men.  Call me a sexist.  Anyway, by the time he had thumped both arms several times and finally stuck in the needle, I was light headed.  They rushed me over to the emergency room because they thought I had a seizure.  Nope.  It was just manly nervous Nellie disease.
	I have discovered if I keep babbling on about something inconsequential the attendant can draw the blood and get me out of the building before my blood pressure drops.  Once I quoted “Twas the Night Before Christmas.”
	I’m memorizing the Gettysburg Address for next time.   
Burly Chapter Twenty-Three

(Previously in the book:  For his birthday Herman received a home-made bear, which magically came to life. As Herman grew up, life was happy–but mama died one night.  Papa decided sister Callie should go live with relatives.  Brother Tad tore up the burlap bear Mama had made for him. Tad died during World War II.  The family came together for the memorial service.  The years have passed, and Herman is now seventeen years old.)
A few days later Herman brought a couple of his friends home after school.  Burly watched them carefully.  They didn’t seem as bad as Tad’s friends.  Actually, Burly decided, they were quite nice.  Gerald was a chubby boy a little shorter than Herman.  Marvin was about Herman’s height and weight but was red-haired and covered with freckles.
“Does your father hate us or something?” Gerald asked, his brow knitted.  “When I said hello all he did was grunt.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Herman replied.  “That’s just the way he is.”
“We’re not keeping you from any chores, are we?” Marvin asked.  “We can study algebra anytime.”
Herman waved his hand as he plopped on the floor by Tad’s bed.  “I’ll do them later.  He knows I’ll do them.”
“My father isn’t like that,” Gerald said, joining Herman on the floor.  “If I have a chore he expects it done right after school.”
“Mine too,” Marvin added.
Herman turned a little red and opened his book.  “Um, let’s get started on this.”
For the next half hour the three tried to figure out the mysteries of algebra, with Herman deciphering the numbers best.
Marvin finally closed his book.  “That’s enough for me.  I’m just getting confused.”
“I’m with you,” Gerald said with a laugh.
“Okay,” Herman replied.
The two friends looked at each other and then Marvin gently poked Herman in the arm.  “Hey, buddy, what’s the matter?  You’ve been quiet all day.”
“Aww nothing.”  Herman shrugged.
“If this is nothing, I’d hate to see something,” Gerald said.
Herman looked at each of them and sighed.  “It’s really nothing.  It’s just that this morning I heard Leonard Smith died in a car wreck last night.”
“Oh, that old drunk,” Marvin said.  “He was a bum.  I couldn’t stand him.”
“Hey, it means something to Herman,” Gerald protested.  “I didn’t know you knew him.”
“Who would want to know him,” Marvin asked, but it was more of a statement and didn’t need a reply.”
“Marvin,” Gerald protested.
“No, that’s okay,” Herman said.  “He was a bum.  I couldn’t stand him.”
“Then why the long face?” Marvin asked.
“Well, it’s a long story,” Herman began.  “He was one of my brother’s friends.  He faked his army physical to get out of going to war.”
“Sounds like him,” Marvin interjected.
Gerald punched him in the arm.  “Shut up.”
“Anyway, he showed up at the memorial service for Tad.  He was drunk.  My sister Callie—she lives in Houston with my aunt and uncle—told him off good.”
“And he’s been drinking ever since,” Marvin completed the story.  “But why should his finally killing himself in a car accident upset you so much?”
“I don’t know.  Maybe because it brings back so many bad memories,” Herman answered.
“Well, let’s talk about something that will make those memories go away,” Marvin said.  “Guess who I heard talking about you at lunch today?”
“I don’t know.”  Herman wasn’t ready to start playing guessing games.
“May Beth Webster.”
Herman couldn’t help but smile.  “Really?”
“Yeah, she thinks you’re the best thing in school,” Marvin replied.
Gerald poked Herman again.  “What do you think about that?”
“Yeah, I think she’d say yes if you asked her to the school Thanksgiving party,” Marvin continued.
Herman shook his head but still smiled.  “Aww, I can’t date.  What would I do?  Drive up in papa’s banged-up old pickup?”
“Haven’t you ever heard of a double date, dummy?” Marvin asked happily.  “You could come with Betsy and me.”
Herman looked up and grinned at the idea.  Burly was happy for Herman even though he didn’t know what a date was.  But then Herman’s expression changed.  Burly was puzzled because he had never seen it before.  It was a combination of shame, fear and anxiety.  Suddenly Burly knew what was bothering Herman and what he was looking at.  Herman was looking at Burly.
Jumping up, Herman tried to look carefree as he plopped on his bed and slid Burly under the pillow.  “Gosh, do you really think we could do it?” Herman asked, with a forced happiness in his voice.
Gerald squinted.  “Of course, you goof.  Boy you must really be crazy about this girl to start hopping around like that.”
“Have you had a date yet, Gerald?” Marvin asked.
Ducking his head, Gerald admitted, “Well no.”
“Then you don’t know how girls can affect guys, right Herman?”
Herman smiled nervously.  “Yeah, right.”
Burly didn’t like what was happening at all.  The boys talked quite a few more minutes before Herman suggested that they go outside.
While they were gone Burly was trying to decide what to say to Herman when he came to bed that night.  Should he be angry?  No.  A stuffed bear can’t very well be angry.  He has no way to fight back at young humans, as his father found out many years ago with Tad.  His father, Burly moaned.  Oh, what if he ended his existence the same way his father did?   That would be terrible, he thought.  Shaking his little burlap head, Burly tried to tell himself that Herman was not like Tad.  He was much nicer.  But he was a teen-ager now.  He was growing up, and maybe there was something inside teen-agers that forced them to break all ties to their childhoods, like cuddling favorite blankets, depending on mothers and fathers and loving little stuffed bears.
Eventually, Herman climbed the ladder to the loft and took his clothes off to get ready to sleep.
“Did you have fun with your friends?” Burly asked, trying to be friendly and forget that Herman hid him.
“Yeah.”
“So you’re going to have a date,” Burly continued.  “What’s a date?”
Herman sat on the edge of the bed and picked up Burly.  “Burly, you know what happened this afternoon?”
At first Burly thought to lie, but he knew it was no use to lie around Herman.  “Yes.  You were ashamed I was on your bed.”
“Now I know how Tad felt that day.”
Burly didn’t want to ask this question.  “What are you going to do?”
“I’m not going to let my friends tear you up,” Herman said with a strong nod of his head.
“They seem like nice boys,” Burly offered.  “I don’t think they would be as mean as Tad’s friends.”
“Could be,” Herman conceded, “but that’s not the point.  The point is,” and Herman took a deep breath, “I am too old to have a teddy bear.”
“Oh no.  A person is never too old to have a friend.  And that’s what I am.  Your friend.  Not just a teddy bear,” Burly said with desperation.
Herman shook his head and carried Burly to the old trunk at the end of the room.  “No, Burly.  It’s time I began to grow up.  And part of growing up is giving up you.”
“No, Herman, please,” Burly pleaded.
“I guess I’ve known this moment would come ever since Tad tore up Burly Senior,” Herman continued, his voice strangely calm.  “I didn’t want it to come, but I knew it had to come.”
“No, please,” Burly said, near to tears, if he had any tears.  “I’ll never embarrass you again.  I love you too much to hurt you.”
“I can’t take that chance.”  Herman lifted the lid to the trunk.
“Please, don’t hurt me.  I can still give you advice.  I’ve always told you the right thing to do, haven’t I?”
“Good bye, Burly.”
And the trunk lid closed, leaving Burly in the dark and Herman alone for the first time in many, many years.  
The Thrill of Art
My father’s idea of being cultured was to lift his leg downwind of company when he needed to pass gas.
My mother thought anyone who liked opera, ballet or Shakespeare was a pretentious snob.
So why I consider myself an esthete is really a mystery.   An esthete, by the way, is a person who derives great pleasure from exposure to beautiful things, like art, music, theater, dance, literature and the list goes on.  It doesn’t mean I’m a snob.  It just mean that I get the same stress relief from artistic stuff that many people get from watching sports or participating in sports.
I once heard Arnold Schwarzenegger say he got more pleasure out of lifting weight than from making love.  And he was elected governor of California.  Go figure.
All I got out of exercise was a lot of sweat, panting and an excruciating pain in my side.  And I never did see any amazing results in my body either.
Now I always did get excited when Shakespeare was going to be performed on television.  I remember a production of MacBeth with Maurice Evans (he was the condescending ape in Planet of the Apes) and Judith Anderson (she played the queen of the Vulcans in a Star Trek movie).  It was filmed in Scotland.  I didn’t understand half of what being said but I still liked it.  Then there was Hamlet with Lawrence Harvey (he was the brainwashed guy in Manchurian Candidate).  I understood a little more of the dialogue and liked it even better.
Come to think of it, I don’t remember why I even was allowed to watch those plays.  If there had been a western on at the same time my father would have insisted on watching that instead.  Maybe he had to work late or went to bed early.  Anyway, I did get to see them and felt like windows had been opened to my soul.  Come to think of it, my mother did refer to me as a little snob from time to time.
Opera eluded me for years, but I always liked ballet.  A touring group came to our high school for an assembly program.  Afterwards a football player said, “Hey, look at me, I’m a ballerina!”  He took a few goofy-looking leaps but stopped and panted.  “Hey,” he said in a moment of self-revelation. “That’s kinda hard.”
My mother-in-law didn’t approve of ballet because certain features of the male anatomy were too obviously on display.  I always wondered how come she could ignore the beautiful music, the costumes, the sets and the graceful movements and just concentrate on that one thing.  Dirty old broad.
As I said, opera took the longest for me to appreciate.  I think part of it was that the singers belt out the songs like they have to be heard in the next county.  When arias are lightly tossed out to waft on the breeze they become inspiring and lift the burdens of everyday life.
The same is true for symphonic music or chorale.  I’m not that great of a singer but I have been lucky enough to sing a few times in large groups performing Mozart’s Requiem and Handel’s Messiah.  To be completely surrounded by such music takes me to another, better place.
I appreciate all forms of art, from the Old Masters to Jackson Pollack.  Once I picked up my daughter from a birthday party at the home of a very successful lawyer.  He was so successful he had a helicopter pad in the front yard in case he was needed in Miami or Nashville real fast.  We were talking in the living room with my daughter’s friend, the birthday girl, when my eyes strayed to a wall where was hanging a small dark oil painting of something Polynesian.  I squinted and thought I saw a very famous signature.  I walked over and, sure enough, it was signed “Gaugin.”  I turned to the girl, 13 or 14, and said respectfully, “May I touch it?”
She shrugged and replied, “Sure, why not?”
My daughter was, as usual, was mortified.  My fingertips lightly ran across the surface, feeling the brushstrokes.
“Do you know what this is?” I said, continuing to act like a groupie backstage at a rock concert.
“I don’t know.  Just something daddy picked up somewhere.”
“This is a Gaugin,” I said and proceeded to give a brief history of the French artist who palled around with Van Gogh and painted naked women in Tahiti.  If anyone asked to touch a Gaugin in an art museum he would be escorted from the building and kicked down the stairs.
By this time my daughter realized her daddy wasn’t just being his usual goofy self and asked if she could touch it too.  The girl thought we were nuts but let us stroke the little painting all we wanted.
So that’s why I’m an esthete.  You don’t have to own the art.  You don’t have to be able to create art.  All you have to do is appreciate it and let it wash over you like the invigorating cold tide on a Florida beach.
Father’s Day
I think I’ve got this Father’s Day deal figured out.
This last weekend I got a dinner and a movie from my son who has to work next weekend, the actual Father’s Day.  He’s a corrections officer at a state facility with a schedule so wacky only a politician could have come up with it.  Twelve hour days.  Two days on, three days off, three days on, two days off.  Basically, if I see him he has the day off.  If I don’t he’s working.
He took me to see the movie about how Han Solo met Chewbaca and won the Millennium Falcon in a card game.  I know it’s supposed to be a stand-alone, but I think it needs at least one sequel to tie up all the loose ends.  Basically I liked it.  At least it didn’t end with half the people in the universe disintegrating with a snap of the fingers.
That was on Saturday night.  On Sunday night he took me out to dinner at nice family-type restaurant that served roast beef, corn and potatoes wrapped up in tin foil.  A little messy but it tasted good.  Sometimes my son zones out or says something inappropriate; but hey, like father like son.
Now this is where it gets interesting.  My daughter, who lives a thousand miles away with her family, called to say her present might be a little late coming in the mail.  Better late than never.  She always picks out something delicious to send me.  On top of that I might even get a phone from my lovely little granddaughter.
Someone might point out I’m not getting anything more than any other father with two grown children might get, but I see it as making the fun stretch out as long as possible.  Being greedy is not a good thing.  Being grateful feels much better.  Feeling grateful for an extended period of time is wonderful.
I don’t know if there’s a moral in any of this.  I’m too busy looking for the mail to arrive.  Ever since I was a little boy I’ve always loved looking for the mail to arrive.  
Stories From a Friend–Shoeshine
Note:  The author of this story is my new friend, Clyde J. Hady of Brooksville, Florida.  His business Facebook is Hometown Electric. Check out his latest invention on You Tube. 
In 1937 I was 12 years old, and my Father was the most important man in town.  It was a small town, we knew everybody, well my Mom and Dad did.  We owned the forge in town, (the forge was where we melted metal and made parts that went all over the United States), and we hired most of the people in town.  When we walked down the street everybody would greet us. I thought we had it made.  Life was great, and we were important.
Every morning my Dad left for the factory, and he would stop in two places on the way in. First he would stop at the paper corner and get his paper (newspaper). Then he would go down the block and into the barbershop. He didn’t always get his hair cut, but he did get his shoes shined every day.
I remember going with him, when I was 12. Everybody respected my Dad! As we walked I said, “Dad, you have the most important job in the whole town, don’t you?” I remember he smiled, but he didn’t say anything. That meant he didn’t agree with what you said! So I asked him, “Isn’t your job the most important in town?” So he asked me, “What makes a job important?” Well I figured I didn’t know the answer. That’s the way my Dad was. He was always asking you questions that he knew you didn’t have the answer for right away.
So we walked past the paperboy, and headed toward the barbershop. I didn’t say anything, because it never helped to rush my Dad. He’d let you know in his own good time what the answer was.
When my Dad sat down to have his shoes shined, the shoeshine boy started talking and shining at the same time. It was mostly small talk, but then he said, “I’m sorry it’s taking so long, but you scuffed this one good. Sometimes it just takes a little longer to accomplish the same task.” Now a shine only cost a nickel so I was really shocked when my Dad gave him a dime and said, “Keep it, you deserve it today.” Why a whole nickel, that was a weeks allowance for me.
My Dad could see I was wondering why, so he said, “I’ll tell you why!” He said, “Today at work I am going to make decisions about things I don’t even know yet! Some of those decisions are going to be easy, some are going to take more thought. And when I am thinking about the tough decisions I’m going to look at these shoes. I’m going to notice that these shoes look brand new, and because I look my best, I’m going to feel more confident about myself and my decisions. I’m also going to remember that it took longer today, to make them look this good. But Bill didn’t ask for more money, he just did the job that was necessary. His job was a little more difficult, but he simply put more effort into it. Today, Bill had the most important job in town, because he allowed me to do my best. The importance of a job is much less what the job is, and much more how the job is done.”
That night I did my chores extra good, and to this day when I look at my shoes, I remember to do the very best job that I can, because my job is one of the most important jobs.
Burly Chapter Twenty-Two

(Previously in the book:  For his birthday Herman received a home-made bear, which magically came to life. As Herman grew up, life was happy–but mama died one night.  Papa decided sister Callie should go live with relatives.  Brother Tad tore up the burlap bear Mama had made for him. Tad died during World War II.  The family came together for the memorial service.)
Burly was frightened; Herman was seventeen, the same age Tad was when he destroyed Burly Senior.  He knew he really had nothing to worry about.  Herman was much kinder than Tad ever was and would never tear him to pieces.  Still, Herman was no longer the sad-eyed little boy who cried on him and gave him life many years ago.  Herman was tall, straight and strong.  He worked harder and longer than Tad had when he was on the farm.  Now in the middle of the afternoon Burly would notice papa coming in the door and going to his room to nap while Herman stayed out in the field or in the barn.  Of an evening after supper dishes were washed, Herman pored over his school books, completing his homework and studying the next lesson beyond that.  Burly was very proud when Herman showed him his report cards and there were all As.
“Very good, Herman,” Burly told him.
Herman shrugged his now broad shoulders.  “I’m not that good.  The teachers in Cumby are impressed, though.”
“But your father isn’t impressed,” Burly offered.
“I don’t know if he is or not.”
Burly shook his head.  “Then who are you trying to impress?”
Herman smiled.  “Me, I guess.  The more I read the more I see how little I know.”
“Now you are getting smart,” Burly said, impressed with his young friend.
Herman put Burly aside.  “I’ve got to study now.”  Then he opened his book and didn’t speak to Burly the rest of the night.
That was what scared Burly.  For years they had talked into the night until Herman slumbered away in mid-sentence.  Now he fell asleep with his face in a book.  In fact, there were days when Herman wouldn’t speak to Burly at all.
“Are you mad at me?” Burly asked one night after almost a week of being ignored.
“Hmm?” Herman muttered, his eyes still on his book.
“I said, are you mad at me?”
Herman put down the book and gave Burly a quizzical smile.  “Why would you say that?”
Burly turned his little button eyes down.  “Well, you haven’t talked to me in several days.”
Picking the bear up and hugging him, Herman said, “I’m sorry.  You know I still love you.”
Feeling a bit more secure, Burly asked, “What are you reading?”
“Government.”
“Do you like it?”
“Yes.”
“What is government?”
Herman put the book down again.  “I guess a burlap bear wouldn’t know anything about government, would he?”
“No, I don’t,” Burly replied, embarrassed.
“It’s the system by which all the people in the country operate,” Herman tried to explain.  “It’s laws, rules we live by, so we don’t hurt each other and help us help each other better.”
“Can’t people just decide to love each other without making laws?” Burly asked.
Herman laughed.  “But that doesn’t get any roads built.  Or schools run.  And it doesn’t defend our country either.”
“Oh.”
“It’s really interesting.  I think I like this subject more than anything else in school.”
“That’s nice.”
“In fact,” Herman said, turning more to Burly, “I’ve decided to become a lawyer when I get out of school.”
“A lawyer?” Burly asked.  “What’s that?”
“That’s a person who makes it his business to make sure the laws are carried out properly.”
“You mean like a sheriff?”  Burly remembered the night the sheriff came to the house to help when Herman’s mother died.
“No, a lawyer’s paid by individual people to represent them in court and to make sure their businesses follow all the laws.”
“Court?”
Herman smiled and shook his head.  “Let’s just say that’s what I want to do.  It’s too complicated to explain.”
Burly felt sad.  “I’m sorry I don’t understand.  I’ve spent all my life in this loft so I really don’t know much.”
Hugging Burly again, Herman assured him, “You know the most about what counts, love.”
Feeling encouraged, Burly asked another question.  “What kind of law would you do, the kind for businesses or—what did you called them?”
“Courts,” Herman supplied the missing word.  “Courts.”  He gathered Burly close as though he were sharing a secret.  “Remember the Johnsons?  The black people who helped us one year?  And remember that show we went to, how all the black people had to sit in one place?  Well, I want to help them, all the black people, so they won’t be treated differently anymore.”
“That’s very nice, Herman.”
He blushed.  “Well, it’s something I think should be done.”
Burly thought a moment and then asked, “You won’t be able to do all that and stay here on the farm, will you?”
“No.”  Herman looked nervous and picked up his book.
Burly didn’t ask any more questions that night.  He was afraid of the answers he might receive.
Story From a Friend–Grandma’s Tomato Tub
Note:  The author of this story is my new friend, Clyde J. Hady of Brooksville, Florida.  His business Facebook is Hometown Electric. Check out his latest invention on You Tube. 
 
Grandma was a big woman, at least that’s how I remember her.  She was as tall as most of the men I saw, and more rotund.  I don’t think she was really oversized, but she did a lot of what was termed as men’s work at that time.  Her stern ways fit well with her build, and her disposition fit easily into the hard routine of everyday life.  When Grandma whispered she was as gentle as any person I have ever known, but when Grandma spoke, I swear the whole town could hear, and the smart ones listened.  She had a reputation that demanded respect from most men, and fear for most women.  But she was gentle, honest, and fair.  Unfortunately the only thing Grandma could ever bank on was her word, she never had anything else.
Life wasn’t easy for a woman on her own, and to this day I’m amazed at how well she did.
By the time I showed up, Grandma was working on her second set of children.  There was me, I don’t remember where my parents were, and a whole passel of cousins.  There were three cousins whose parents had died in a car accident, and two whose Momma went crazy after their Daddy had died in the war.  We were there all the time, but there were others too, who would show up for days or weeks at a time. I never did know why, but I suspect Grandma was helping to ease the burden of unwanted responsibility.  I never did hear Grandma say anything about the missing parents who weren’t dead, but she was always saying that we had to learn to be responsible, because she wouldn’t be around to help us.  In retrospect, I feel a terrible shame for not fully understanding how much she was helping us at the time, but as children we just understood that others were not going to be responsible for us.
Grandma didn’t have real running water, just a pump in the front yard and the only hot water she had was the water she put over the fire. She had this kind of fire pit with a wall of stones around it, just the right size to set her tomato tub on. She called it a tomato tub because when tomatoes were in season she used it to can tomatoes with, but most of the time it was used for washing and cleaning. Once each week everyone took their turn in the tub, whether you needed it or not, no talking back either.
I remember when Tommy came to visit, it was during canning season and Grandma had been canning all week. But when Saturday came round she readied it for baths. We had a heck of a time finding Tommy. Seems someone had told him that Grandma liked canning things at some point during the week and he was bound and determined that Grandma was not going to can him. He didn’t care how fresh it would make him feel, he was not going to be canned.
 When she finally got him into the tub and finished getting him cleaned up, she asked him, “Now that wasn’t so bad was it?”
His only retort was “I don’t like being canned!”
Grandma just smiled, but that was the last time Tommy spent the whole week with us, so I guess you could say he was only canned one time.
Burly Chapter Twenty-One

(Previously in the book:  For his birthday Herman received a home-made bear, which magically came to life. As Herman grew up, life was happy–but mama died one night.  Papa decided sister Callie should go live with relatives.  Brother Tad tore up the burlap bear Mama had made for him. Tad died during World War II.  The family came together for the memorial service.)
Then Leonard walked up at Tad’s memorial service, bumping into people and tripping over his own feet.  He was drunk.  Grabbing papa’s hand, Leonard pumped for several moments.  “I’m sorry, Mr. Horn.  I’m very sorry,” he mumbled.
Papa pulled his hand away.  “Don’t you know any better than to show up here like that?”
Leonard shuffled his feet.  “I know.  I know I shouldn’t have.  But you see—“
Papa turned and walked away.  “I see that you’re drunk.”
Lunging toward papa, Leonard tried to stop him but papa quickened his steps.  Then Leonard turned to Callie and Herman.  “We just got word today.  Stevie was killed some place called New Guinea out in the Pacific.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Herman said, not changing his expression.  “We’ve got to go now.”
“No, wait,” Leonard pleaded with them.  “I’ve got to apologize.”
“What for?”  Callie looked at him with a blank face.
Leonard wiped his nose.  “Because they’re dead, and I’m still here.”  He paused to look down.  “You see, I cheated on the physical.  There’s nothing wrong with me.  I just knew some tricks to make it look like there was something wrong with me.”
Herman felt sorry for him.  Leonard’s puffy eyes and pitiful expression nearly erased the memory of the cocky, wise-cracking youngster who teased him to the point of tears.  Herman couldn’t quite forget Leonard probably was the one who made Tad destroy Burly Senior.
Callie, however, was not sympathetic.  “You’re wrong, Leonard.  There is something wrong with you.  It’s something that would never show up on any doctor’s test.  You have absolutely nothing worthwhile inside you.”  Grabbing her brother’s arm, Callie walked away, leaving Leonard standing there crying, trying to explain to others in the crowd who also turned their backs to him.
Herman rode back to the farm in Uncle Calvin’s car with Callie.  Papa had refused to ride with them but instead took his pickup.
“I guess Woody will never change,” Uncle Calvin said.
Aunt Joyce eyed Herman and Callie.  “No, I suspect not.”
No one spoke in the car on the ride home.  Uncle Calvin was about to pull onto the dirt road leading to papa’s farm when Callie put her arm around Herman.  “Come live with us in Houston,” she whispered.
Herman looked at his sister and frowned.  “But Papa needs me.”
“Has he said so?” she asked.
His eyes went out the window to watch the approaching farm house.  “You know he would never say so.  But I know he needs me.”
“You think he’s going to love you for doing this for him?” Callie continued, becoming a little angry.  “You could bury yourself on this farm all your life and he will never love you.”
“Callie,” Aunt Joyce said with sadness, “it’s not nice to say things like that about your father.”
“Well, they’re true,” Callie replied.
“No,” Herman interrupted.  “It’s just that he can’t show love.”
“Woody Horn was never one to show how he felt, even in the old days,” Uncle Calvin offered.
Herman looked Callie in the eyes.  “And I’m not going to bury myself on this farm.  I’ll stay here as long as I’m in school.  But then I’m leaving.  I’m going to college and I’m going to have a life of my own.”
“There’s a lot of good colleges in Houston,” Aunt Joyce said.
Callie hugged Herman tightly.  “I love you,” she whispered in his ear.
“I love you too,” he whispered back.
Herman got out, and they left.  He watched the car pull back on the blacktop and fade down the road before he went inside.  Papa was in his bedroom with the door shut.  Herman politely rapped and said, “They’ve left.”
After he climbed the ladder to the loft and took off his Sunday clothes and put on his work clothes, Herman came back down to fix supper.  He ate his meal, knocked on the door and said, “The food’s on the stove.”  He then went back to the loft and watched his father slowly come out of the door and eat a few bites.
“He doesn’t walk as tall as he used to,” Herman said to Burly.  “And he doesn’t have worms on his arms anymore.”
Burly nodded.  “That means he’s getting older.”
“Do you think he’ll live a long time?”
“I don’t know,” Burly replied.  “Why?”
“Oh, I don’t know.”
“Are you afraid you’ll lose another member of your family?”
Herman shook his head.  “No.”
“You don’t want him to die, do you?”
Herman paused a long while and shrugged his shoulders.  “I don’t know.”
After papa ate and went back into his room, Herman came down to clean the dishes and straighten the kitchen.  When he finished he turned to go to the loft but stopped by his father’s door to say, “I’m going to bed now.”  Of course, there wasn’t a reply, but Herman told him anyway.
“You still love your father, don’t you?” Burly asked, a little worried.
Herman hugged him as he settled into bed.  “Of course I do.  It’s just that—“ he paused to collect his thoughts and continued, “I’ve gotten to the age to know he’s never going to love me the way I want him to, that’s all.”
Burly leaned into him.  “Poor Herman.”
Herman chuckled sadly.  “Yes, poor Herman.”
He tried to go to sleep, because he knew he would have a full day of work on the farm tomorrow since they had missed so much for the memorial service, but for some reason he couldn’t.
Then he was aware of someone coming up the ladder.  For an instant he thought it was Tad, that the years had rolled back and everything was like it was before mama died.  But that thought didn’t last long.  He soon saw that it was papa coming up with the American flag under his arm.  For another instant Herman considered saying something but he figured papa had waited this long to come up so he would be asleep.  Therefore, he pretended to be asleep because he knew that’s what papa wanted.  Through half slit eyes he watched his father open the lid to the old trunk at the end of the room.  Papa gently lifted mama’s wedding dress, smelled it and kissed it tenderly.  Then with a sad pat, papa put the flag in the trunk and closed the lid.  Herman thought he would go back down the ladder but instead papa walked over to Herman’s bed.  It made Herman nervous, but he continued to pretend to be asleep.
Papa picked up Burly.  “Well, little bear, he talks a lot to you, doesn’t he?”
Herman tried not to stir.
“I wonder what all he says?”  After a pause he added in a cracked voice.  “I know he wants to talk to me, tell me all the things he tells you, but I can’t let him.  I don’t know why I can’t, but I just can’t.”
And then papa cried softly.  Herman wanted to jump up and hug him and tell him everything was going to be all right, but Herman knew everything was not going to be all right.  He also knew if he let papa know he was listening it would embarrass him.  So he just lay there until papa put Burly down and went down the ladder to his room.
“You see,” Burly said softly.  “Your papa does love you.”
But Herman didn’t answer.  He was sobbing into his pillow.