My wife Janet and I had gone to the same general practitioner for 20 years.
He was the one who referred me to a sleep specialist who diagnosed me with REM sleep disorder. A few months later the general practitioner said there was nothing wrong with me which would keep me from working. When I told my sleep doctor that diagnosis, he sent a message to my gp that REM indeed restricted me from working a full time job. At my next appointment the gp acknowledged I had a sleep disorder and wrote me out a prescription for the breathing apparatus needed for someone with apnea. I do not have apnea; I threw the prescription out.
He was the one who came into my hospital room after I had been admitted for a heart attack and said, “Well, you finally had that heart attack,” as though chiding a child hit by a car after being repeatedly warned not to play in the street.
He was the one who referred Janet to a dermatologist for the skin condition on her breast. He was the one who told her she had cancer and referred her to an oncologist. And when the cancer had spread to Janet’s brain he was the one to recommend putting her in Hospice where she would probably die in three days. He was right. She was dead in three days.
Recently I had my first general checkup since Janet died in January. He looked at the blood test results and told me all levels were good except testosterone which was very low.
He then looked me in the eye and asked me if I was planning to be sexually active. He knew my wife had been dead barely six months, but the look in his eyes was as though he were talking to a complete stranger. He forgot that we had a son, a daughter and 44 years of marriage.
When I said no, he said it was just as well because a man my age and with my heart problems would not respond well to testosterone enhancement treatment.
Believe it or not, I made another appointment with him sometime in November or December, knowing full well he will enter the examination room with that blank look in his eyes, extending his hand while concentrating on the clipboard.
At my age, I have met precious few doctors who ever tried to connect on a personal level and the vast majority of them have been specialists. Looking for a new general practitioner at this time would cause me to expend negative energy that would just make things worse.
Right now I need all the positive energy I can find. I’ve realized I’m not going to find it in a doctor’s office so I shouldn’t even try.
My advice is to get your positive energy from friends and family.