Only my wife Janet could hurt my feelings.
Well, my son and my daughter are pretty good at hurting my feelings too.
When I get my feelings hurt I get very quiet. Also involved is a thing called “the look” which was the only tool of punishment that ever worked with my daughter when she was growing up. She had a quick apology and usually tears were involved. My son did not forgive me for making him move to Florida away from his friends when he was a teen-ager. During those he didn’t care if he hurt my feelings or not. It was not until he was in his early twenties that he realized that sometimes we have to make decisions that are not going to make everybody happy. After that, he noticed when I was too quiet and made amends.
Not only could Janet hurt my feelings she was the only one who didn’t have to apologize. After a while I informed her why I was upset and then I let go of it. When she knew the storm had passed, she gave me a hug, and all was well again. Well, cancer took all that away.
The point is that only the people who truly love you have the ability to reach down into your heart and squeeze it until you cry. Anyone else who thinks he has hurt my feelings is wrong because I am not emotionally invested in that person. What that person has done is made me mad. By trying to pass off their bad behavior as hurting my feelings, these people are saying they didn’t do anything wrong.
When my family hurts my feelings, I know I have the responsibility to forgive them because I love them. However, I don’t let anyone else get away without a giving a sincere, honest apology. No one knows how to apologize. Any statement of alleged contrition that involved the words “if” or “but” is not an apology. I may smile and act like I don’t mind, but the dent in our relationship is still there.
These days, however, I really wish Janet was still here to hurt my feelings. I miss the make-up hugs.