Part of the dreary duties required in the aftermath of saying good-bye to a spouse is to deal with the Social Security Office.  The funeral home took care of the initial report.  It was then I learned I could apply for Janet’s benefits since they were higher than mine.

First I called the toll free number and began trying to talk to an automated voice which was determined not to understand what I was trying to explain.  Finally I ended the conversation as the blank voice said for the fourth time, “I’m sorry.  Please repeat—“

Then I went on the website and left a message, but I doubted I would ever receive an answer so I located the closest Social Security office.

I expected the worst and brought a book to read, but once inside the office only a few fellow old people sat about.  A uniformed man sat behind a desk under a sign that read Security Guard.  He was bending someone’s ear about how much he hated government.  His tirade was so vehement I didn’t dare interrupt him.  After all, he had a gun and I didn’t want to give him a reason to go stand your ground on me.  Why an armed guard was needed in a Social Security office in a rural area of Florida disturbed me greatly.

Fortunately, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a computer station where I could check in and receive a wait number, 78.  Someone called out “74” so I knew my wait would not take long.  I found a chair far away from the disgruntled armed employee charged with ensuring my security.

I finally found myself sitting across from a Social Security staffer who smiled sympathetically as I explained what I wanted.  She made an official appointment for three weeks hence and gave me a list of documents I’d need, including an official copy of our marriage certificate.  She even offered condolences for my wife’s death.  The guard had stepped away from his desk so I made a clean break out.

On the home I realized the only person who knew where in the house our marriage certificate was filed was Janet and she had gone away.

I had three weeks to get a new copy from Richmond, Virginia.  I hoped I could communicate better with the Virginia state computer better than I did with the federal one, but no such luck.  I was able to fill out the application pay for it on line.  I waited for the wedding certificate to arrive in the mail but it never came.

I did receive an e-mail saying I needed to fax or scan a copy of my driver’s license to them.  It was difficult since I don’t have a good relationship with computer programs, but I finally figured it out.  But I knew it would not get here in time for the local Social Security office appointment.  After waiting several minutes to talk to a human voice, I was told to go to the office anyway.

The second trip was not as bad as the first.  The security guard on duty held open doors for people in wheelchairs and told people which window to go to when their number was called.  And when I was called in for my appointment, the clerk was pleasant and called up my information, decided he didn’t need my marriage certificate after all and completed all the paperwork.  I went home happy.

A couple of days ago I got another e-mail from Virginia.  They still needed my ID to get the marriage certificate which I didn’t need any more.