Bessie’s Boys Chapter Twelve

Alice was about to retire to her chambers when she paused to reflect on her recent romantic adventure with Clarence. Her eyes glistened with excitement. Hearing footsteps behind her, she turned with apprehension to see who was approaching her. It was Maria.
“Oh, you startled me.” Alice graciously curtsied.
“I don’t think we’ve been introduced,” Maria intoned in her most mannerly English.
“No, we haven’t.” Alice decided she would not reveal any personal information spontaneously to this dark stranger.
“I am Maria Fleurette Hortense Hildegarde de Horenhausen,” she continued in cool English. “I am the ward of the Spanish ambassador.”
Deciding Maria’s credentials were credible, Alice smiled slightly and replied, “I am Alice Wrenn, an attendant in the court of Queen Elizabeth.”
“I hope we can become fast friends.” There was just enough iciness in Maria’s clipped English announcement to make it faintly unreliable.
“That would be nice, but unlikely, since you’ll soon return to Spain with the ambassador.” Alice raised her eyebrow slightly in cynicism.
“But I have plans to stay in England.”
“Oh really?”
“Just today I met one of the great warriors of England, and we fell instantly and madly in love.”
“Oh really?” Alice repeated. “I’m engages to one of the great warriors of England.”
The night air just became chillier.
***
Elizabeth and Robin strolled, hand in hand, around the throne.
“Ah, I feel so refreshed,” Bessie cooed.
“I’m going to be black and blue for a week,” Robin groused.
“Don’t be a sissy.” The Queen turned to behold the brilliant full moon from the window. “No matter how much you please me, Robin, I cannot help but be disturbed by the news of a traitor in my court.”
He joined her. “Do you think young Broadshoulders can find out who it is?”
“If he can’t, perhaps Clarence Flippertigibbit can.”
Robin wrinkled his sweaty brow. “You’re sending him to Spain, too?”
***
Back in the hall way, the two young damsels circled each other as though about to engage in combat.
“What a coincidence.” Maria switched to a German accent. “Are you sure he is a great warrior?”
Alice lifted her tiny chin. “My fiancé is held in highest regard by Queen Elizabeth herself.”
“Then are you certain of the engagement?” There was a hard German nastiness to Maria’s question.
“Are you implying my fiancé is unfaithful?” Her petite nostrils flared. “My hero is a gentleman without equal.”
“”I’m sure he is.” Spitefulness slid into Maria’s English inflection. The more I consider the facts, I’m sure we’re not talking about the same man. My love’s heroic dimensions would frighten you.”
“My fiancé has heroic dimensions, and they don’t frighten me at all.”
“Of course, of course. We shall all get together for an evening of lively conversation when my love returns from his secret mission to Spain.
***
Back in the throne room, Robin continued, “And if by some chance the spy was Broadshoulders’ father, young Flippertigibbit will discover that.”
“Yes,” Elizabeth replied, “unfortunately, I cannot trust anyone. Also, the chances of either of them or both being discovered by Phillip and burned at the stake are high. Perhaps one of them can escape.”
“Yes,” Robin agreed, “the stakes are high.”
***
Alice’s mouth fell open at Maria’s comment. “Did you say secret mission to Spain?”
Si.”
“My fiancé leaves tonight on a secret mission to Spain also.” Her hand went to her small but impressive bosom.
“My lover is under direct orders from the Queen herself.” Maria stretched herself to her full height.
“My fiancé received his command from her Majesty.”
“Why would Elizabeth send two great warriors on a secret mission to Spain at the same time?” Maria asked in impeccable English.
“I have no earthly idea.”
“Unless—“
“—there is only one great warrior!” Alice interrupted.
Each young woman began to steam at the prospect that they were both being seduced by the same gallant hero in Queen Elizabeth’s court.
“And then I’ll kill him!” Her determination was expressed with a frighteningly German threat.
“Not if I get to him first!” Her face turned cherry tomato red.
Both maidens turned for their rooms but bumped into each other instead.
“Out of my way!” Maria demanded in an imperious German tone.
“Cram it, Kraut!” Alice dropped all pretense of being the perfect English lady.
***
Elizabeth and Robin nestled under the royal linens in her private chamber.
“Not a pretty decision you had to make there, Bessie old girl.”
“No. The life of a Virgin Queen is difficult.”
Robin guffawed but stopped quickly to cough when he saw Elizabeth’s piercing glare.
“Awfully drafty in these old castles,” he mumbled.
“Oh, shut up and kiss me.”

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