I think I need to write some more about missing Janet. I’ve been going through a lot of first anniversaries without her. They are beginning to pile up.
There was her birthday in September. For almost two months we would both be sixty-eight years old at the same time. Some friends celebrated the day with me, but I couldn’t help but to think of my last celebration with her. We went to a steak house for lunch. We each had a steak and a cocktail. The staff rolled out a giant hobby horse and sang happy birthday to her. Janet crawled with difficulty on it and waved a hand over her head. This was just a few weeks after her double mastectomy. I wish I had taken a picture.
For my birthday my son ordered take out from a nice chain restaurant. Too bad you can’t get margaritas to go. Someone else baked me a cake and a friend made up a birthday song for me and sang it to me.
We haven’t had trick or treaters in years, but that didn’t keep Janet from buying our favorite candy bars which we always enjoyed eating so they wouldn’t go to waste. I didn’t buy any this year. If Janet didn’t buy them they wouldn’t taste right anyway.
Now I’ve got the first Thanksgiving without Janet coming up. Luckily one group of friends have invited me over on Thanksgiving Day and another group on the following Saturday. That should go well.
But then I have the anniversary of our last Christmas. Her last happy day was the day before Christmas Eve. Now that is going to be the tough one.